Be you!

I reached a point of my life that I simply don't care what people think of me.
The way I look or act, this is me, I'm not gonna change to people like me or to amuse someone.
I will change if I have the need, if I evolve, if the person that I am doesn't fit me anymore. I don't have to please anyone but myself, I'm who I am today because of me, what I been through, what I learned with my mistakes and my little victories.
I will not change my mind because of what  people say or want.
I'm nobody's child, I'm a grown up woman, who had grown almost by myself. I made mistakes, I needed help, but I've learn, I'm still learning, but I will not take lessons from people who hadn't evolve a thing.
I'm not a bad person, but I'm not weak anymore and will not let people make me feel that way.
I've been through a lot to be where I am today, and in the past I changed to please people, but not anymore.
Life has teached me a lot and I know I have so many more lessons to learn, I don't need people tell me, that was a well learned lesson.
You learn, you grow, you evolve by living, making mistakes and making good choises. And sometimes you just have to risk some things because you don't know what is going to happen, you have to wait and see.
This is life, it doesn't need to be perfect and you... you don't have to be perfect either, you just have to be you!

Cozy minimalist

Since we moved to our house, I became more interested in house decor, interior design but as we live with a very small budget I had to work with what I have, that isn't much but we arrange everything to make a simple and beautifull house.
We both agreed in the minimalist style, although I want a cozy home.
When we moved here we ask for white walls for being easy to work with, I think that the details makes all the diference.
Specially in fall and winter, a soft blanket in the sofa, a candle here and there, a fluffy carpet on the ground.
I want a certain elegancy in the evironment also.
I don't want a house full of stuff, I want the right amount with some quality, of course, to make sure that will resist some years.I don't want to go by the tendencies because they are always changing. I want things that I know that I will not get bored by them, and that I can change them with the seasons, that's all.
So I been searching for some home inspiration, I don't own the author rights of the following images of course, most of them I found on pinterest.

Can't even deal how fast time is going. November is almost ending.
My favourite month of the all year.
I'm trying to live everyday, without thinking to much, but some days I just break.
It hurts, when he walks out of the door at night and goes to work, it hurts when I walk out of the door in the morning to work, sometimes I can't deal with my life, somedays I cry when I go to bed, others when I leave the house.
Everyone has their struggles and my life isn't perfect.
I still teach to myself everyday to remain grateful of the small things, every good moment, to stay positive and be strong.
But hey! we're all a little fragile, and that's ok.

Despite it all

A second, an hour, a day, one tear, one smile, we sleep, we eat, we breathe, we laugh.
A week, a year, we get tired, we want to give up but we don't, we have hope.
We fight because fighting is all we know.
We wake up, we want to wake up. Giving up isn't an option. We live, despite all the bad that happens, because the good, the victories, the joy, the love is worth it.
For a better second, an hour, a day, a week, a year. 
Live despite it all.
Be alive, don't only exist!

Today, 25 years ago I was born. I can't belive how fast time goes by, I can't belive how fast last year went by.
I'm so gratefull, so proud of me, I'm still alive.
I've changed, I've grown so much in this last year, I've conquered myself again.

This year I'm proud of being me, I've accepted myself,
I'm more confident.
I'm no longer a child, but I don't feel quite old yet, I guess no matter how many years I have I will never feel that age.
That's a good thing. It means I'm evolving, not aging.
This year I feel like I started living again, not just surviving, getting out of my confort zone, like being on a beach just in my bikini or shaving my head, some little things that made a huge difference on me.
I started being me, expecting nothing from others, I quit caring if people would like me or not, I started speaking my mind more, telling what I felt about things, giving my opinion.
I started standing for myself more.
Over this last year I opened my mind, my eyes, my heart, I've learn to be kind to myself, putting me first because I also deserve that.
Before, my birthday didn't have any purpose, I hated this day.
Six years ago I found my love, my life, my husband and my life gained a new sense.
But this year is the first one that I feel peace, calm inside of me. I'm not angry or sad, I'm living my day the best way I can, treating myself with kindness.

This year I wish that every birthday years be like this one, I'm
happy because I'm alive and wishing being alive.

It is my favourite month of the year again. I can't help it feeling nostalgic in this time of the year.
This is my month, the month I was born, the month I found, six years ago, the LOVE of my life.
I just like the emotions, the feelings that this month makes me feel.
It was a year ago that I start this blog, so much happened, so many changes.
I'm sit in my kitchen writing, in my house, the one we were searching for a year ago in the begining of November.
I've been working with children and my job there is almost over.
I've growing and changing, teaching positivity to myself and healing myself.
How can a person change so much in just one year?!
With a lot of effort, patiente, living day by day, not rushing myself.
I had a kidneystone, and lived like a zombie(because of the meds) by a week (with a lot of pain) , something clicked in my mind, life is to short, I can't waste it.
Things are almost the same but my way of view them changed, that's a victory.
I'm more strong than an year ago.
I started enjoying the little things, the little moments that make life so precious, so beautiful.
I learned by myself that life is worth, I can't give up, I want to live so much more.
I want many more years to see November coming, and tell that I'm born in this month, I'm alive and proud of being born.
Take your life and keep it like a treasure. Live it, enjoy it, be strong, never give up and be happy!

Open your mind, teach yourself to see beyond the obvious, life isn't that boring right?!  Life isn't that simple, people aren't that simple, things may not be the way you think they are.
Everything is very complex. 
For an example, an ant is just an insect you won't hesitate kill, but did you took the time to watch, to learn about ants? They are a comunity so much complex, like humans.
My point isn't about the ants, my point is that we pass by life running , we miss the little things, the beautiful things happening around us in a blink of an eye.
Slow down, breath, live every moment of your life, maybe your life isn't perfect, mine isn't either, but I changed, instead of seeing all the bad things, I started to observe the little good ones that make life worth of being alive.
Being alive with health is already a victory, waking up every day knowing that I'm not alone is a victory.
Seeing the sun shining around me, feeling his heat.
So many, little, beautiful things around to see, to learn, to live.
Life isn't easy, isn't perfect, but feels good to be alive!
Enjoy while you can!

Lights

Normally in the end of the day I get so overwhelmed with all the energies that I've caught.
All the inner fights I've fought along the day, dealing with people that try to mistake me.
There is no way, I can feel the true colors.
I don't care how beautiful you are on the outside if your inside doesn't match.
I feel no trust in anyone, because I'm surrounded by fake good people.

I had a big fight with a person like this, and she tried to convince me by crying, she was a good person, that the mistake was mine, that I didn't learn how to know her after all this time.
Some years ago or not so long as the last year, I would belive in her words,blame myself and convince myself that I'm a bad person.
But some time ago, I didn't know what I know today, I taught myself, I evolved myself and I know who I am, what I always knew but I left other people convince that I wasn't. Like she tried to do with me.
I left her do her thing, and I showed her love, I apologized for being rude and hugged her.
And I saw suprise in her eyes, because she wasn't expect this action after seeing me yelling, she wasn't expecting kindness.
I saw all of that but I saw no true kindness in her eyes, I saw no truth in her eyes, she want to be or show a good person that doesn't exists inside of her, she expects that everyone is like her, empty.
She didn't evolve at all and she is so much older than me, I feel sorry for her because you can't fake true light.
You can't fake true love.
It comes from the heart and it shows on our eyes.

People will try to give their opinion, that's ok.
You can accept it or not, it's your choice.
People will try to change your mind about something, people will try to control the way you act, you think, and in the end they will try to control your life.

YOUR life! Doesn't belong to them to control, it's your own path.
People will try to make you feel guilty for being who you are, for acting in a silly way or being weird.
People will judge no matter what.
We can not please everybody.
You know what?! 
Let them think what they want but don't let them take control over you.
It's your life, your time to grow, to change, to evolve.
Be yourself in the most beautiful way of being, be kind, be calm, be silly, be weird, be awkward.
Take control, you are in charge of yourself, show them what kind of material your are done, be happy and show them.
You don't have to ask permission to be YOU.
Remember you are one of a kind, you are unique, you are beautiful!

I don't want to survive!

Some days you will feel intoxicated, surrounded by people that make your nerves explode, and you simply get tired and can't control yourself anymore, you let it get on fire and explode.
Words will come out, can't go back! You want to run, you can't find a safe place to hide, cause they will always find you.
You sorrounded with fake people, smiling and talking with them because you want everything to be peaceful and you being drained.
Every clear thought about patience, being calm and let it go is shouted down.
In your brain only exists fog and pain, the insecurities about yourself starts again.
All that you think is that you need to survive another day.
I don't want to survive another day, fuck this!
I want to live!
I want to be happy about myself, I want to be confident, I want to feel good about my flaws, I want to be me.
I want to be surrounded with true people, good people, intelligent people, people that teach me something new, people that make me think, make evolve and grow, make me a better person!
Positive minds, positive people!
I don't want to survive, I want to LIVE!