Thursday, April 27, 2017

Never get stuck!

You can't always be happy, pain exists, sadness exists in this life, it's supposed to, makes you stronger, makes you wiser, you gain defenses in your mind, soul, essence, you have to figure how to live through the pain, the bad things, the sadness.
Strenght is when you know that you have problems but you wake up every day with a smile and you think, let's make a new day in our journey, let's continue to figure out things, let's find solutions to change whatever is making me sad, to change the path that I'm following, let's fight another day and make it awesome, grateful for the good things that we still have in our lives besides the bad ones or the problems we need to solve.

Appreciate the sadness in order to evolve!

It's like when you're a child and you're overprotected, you don't play outside, you don't get dirty, you don't play with earth, you don't do anything that may "hurt" you, the first time you get a flu you're body don't have defenses, doesn't know how to deal with the strange corps that is infecting your body. Pain, sadness, hard things to get through, they are the strange corps infecting your mind, your heart, your soul, your essence, if you have a easy life, overprotected, all given to you, the first time you are on your own, you have to obtain things by yourself, you have to get through hard situations, hard decisions, through pain and sadness, your mind doesn't know how to because you had never been prepared to deal with it.
You will want to run away to your safe zone, to your comfort.

That happened to me, even today I'm afraid of changes, I'm afraid of pain and fight, in the most traumatic moment of my life everything changed and I wasn't ready, although my life wasn't the easiest one and I had learned to fight, in that moment everything was ok, I didn't had big worries, I was fine and I though I had everything figure it out.
But life wanted to show me another lesson, I still had much to learn and evolve (I still have tho) and I wasn't ready for that, I had no defenses to that, to changes, to really be by myself and do the right decisions and really fight for my path, be an adult, because I was only 16  years old.
So,errr, I didn't have responsability, I did bad choices, I've fall, but I didn't blamed myself for the mistakes I've made, that was my biggest mistake. It was my fault, I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to have to work, I wanted the utopia created in my head.
I wanted no responsabilities, and life teached me, without responsability you can't be happy, you can't go to places, you can't have stability, you can't have food, money, a home.
You are responsible to create your own path, you are responsible for your actions and your decisions, not everyone else, no one have the obligation to take care of yourself if you don't want to. You have to do it for yourself.
You have to have the guts to fight, because this life isn't easy by herself, don't make it harder.

So, yes, even today I'm afraid of changes, challenges, pain. 
I'm afraid of being alone, because my brain sometimes still thinks that I need someone to take care of me, sure everyone needs someone that takes time to give us love, kind words, and advices as we need to do the same, but as I said no one have to be responsible for your decisions, actions, choices, no one have to take the responsability that you don't want. And sometimes my brain is 5 years old and just doesn't function as an adult,errr.
I'm afraid of changes because I'm afraid of challenges, I have to put myself out there and get out of my confort zone, that happens mostly when I have to go to a new work, I don't like the confrontation of being something new to me, new people, new tasks, being such a shy person, it freaks me out.

But as time goes by and I get older and evolve I realize it gets easier to put me on those situations and fight my fears and proceed, I just know that it is something it has to be done, I can't avoid work just because I don't like people or I can't avoid work just because I don't feel like working today. No, it's my responsability to go, to do my best and almost not acknowledge the obstacles, in the end of the day, I must be proud of myself and not take care of others thoughts and opinions about me, because I am trying to make a living, I am trying to create my path, I am teaching myself and evolving, and most of those people who take their time to criticize you they are stuck in a blind state of mind, they don't know better.
So why should I take my time, the time that I need to create myself, my path, my life, and care about those opinions from people that think they know me just because I say a few words and work with them. No!
Those people have a purpose to your life, teach you that the best we keep for ourselves, we have to show just a tiny part of what we are entirely, don't give them even the chance to ruined what you've been creating inside of you, they don't know you!

I'm afraid of pain, because pain hurts obviously, not physical pain (although that scares me to) but psychological pain, my biggest fear is to lose the ones that I love, my family, human and animal ones.
But death is part of life, we can't carry this body over and over till forever, we must proceed to another state.
But still, is hard to me to accept this one, because I've experienced that pain, and it is a task I need to work on, although I don't think a lot about it.
And maybe that's the main problem, I don't accept it because I avoid to deal with it.

Anyway, it must exist balance in everything, happiness and sadness, good and bad moments, in order to our strenght grows, in order to our soul steps up on another level, to evolution occur.
Educate yourself, learn your lessons in the bad but also in the good moments, apreciate all your challenges, and never but never let yourself get stuck, always find a way to continue.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

No matter what, don't give up!

The human being has strengths that even him doesn't know he have.
Bad things happen all the time in our lives or for a reason or another we feel tired.
Our mind starts to feel weak, our body wants to shut down.
In these moments we feel desperate, anxious, with fear, nothing seems to work out the way we need.
It is in these moments that we must be strong, we must fight the tiredness, we must go on no matter what. Sure, it is important to rest, to take time to treat ourselfs, we are not machines and even them need some maintenance and sometimes need to be repaired.
The point is we should not give up on things, just because 
we are tired or it's to hard to do. 
Nothing is impossible to do if we put our minds in to it, if it's hard, push harder, in the end you will be stronger, you've learned a new skill, you climbed one level up.
Life is like a game,if we give up, all the effort that we've made till now will fall apart and that's a terrible thing to happen.
All of this is a lesson for me to, I'm tired, working 14 days without a day off is a mental challenge, my brain shuts down sometimes, but I wont give up, hopefully tomorrow it's the last day before my so needed day off.
It has been the longests 14 days ever, so many times I wanted to break and say, this is not for me, I can't handle it, I can't go to work because my body hurts, I want to stay home sleeping. But I don't want to feel guilty because of doing that, I've reached so many years ago, a new level of responsability that even tired and hurt I prefer to go to work than simply don't go. 
I guess I've learned how to adulting, eh eh!
What I can do is try to rest when I have the time, treat myself, eat better, hydrate myself and fight, put my mind in to it, teach myself that if it is hard I will be stronger and finally that I can do it.
It's the only way that dreams come true, you don't expect that they just happen, you have to work.
So, keep the hard work, keep pushing because one day, the tree will give you fruits.