Trying to see life positively!

This past weeks I fell in a spiral of negativity.
I cry about everything, I try but I can't see any little light.
Although I give value to all the good things I have and surround me, I'm always hitting the same key, I only see the bad things , I suffer with anticipation about the future, I feel like I don't deserve anything, I don't see a hope in my future, I lost all my dreams again.
And my beloved as always played the role of my psychologist.
He let me cry, and talk and let it all out.

And then he told me:
"You have to learn to let it go, and let it flow. You focus only in the bad things that happen to you, you focus on the dream that you have, and you get frustrated.
Maybe that dream isn't what you need to be happy.
You need to give value to all the good things that you have, that you had conquer till now.
And you need to accept your life as it is, seeing the good things.
Like as, you don't like your job enjoy the money that allows you to have a house, food, clothes, and allows you to do your hobbys.
You can't live by your hobbys because you can't make money with them, but they make your life happier, enjoy that, enjoy the time that you can spend with them.
Your life isn't your job.
Embrace your life as it is, let it flow, enjoy your free time, make goals that you can achieve, not dreams that would make you feel frustrated.
Embrace every day of your life, take everything good that happen to you in that day and keep it with you, the bad things let them go.
Don't let them inside or you will continue to be destroyed."

As I have been sick and feeling like a piece of worthlessness I have not been able to put his advice into practice.
But I plan to do it as soon as possible, at least I want to try, again.
It's been so long that I don't feel happy, I'm always complain about everything.
I really want to change that. I know that I'm always gonna have my lows but I really want to feel alive even for a short period.
I want to feel the rush on my blood, I want to feel light as if I could fly.
I want to be more me as I want to be, and not as other person expect me to be.
I just hope to achieved this goal.
This is my first goal:
- To embrace my life, be thankful and happy.

Just live!

Today I wake up very tired, and all I wanted to do was crying.
Why?
Because... I know but also I don't know.
I'm too scared, it's the main feeling that I have, fear.
I feel that I'm getting old, and my profession life isn't going the way I want.
It never did in fact.
I always had jobs that I didn't like for one reason or another just to provide money.
As an adult I know, and already said in here,money simple don't fall from trees,I have to work to provide money for food and stuff.
But what I feel is, I'm not good enough in one thing to persuit the way and keep it. 

I'm just not good enough. I can't fight for a specific job,I know how to adapt because I have to, and sometimes I really reallyyy don't like what I do for work but I have to accept to do it anyway.
But in meantime I keep feeling empty,unhappy and lost.
And more and more stressed.
I deserve to be happy doing what makes me happy. 

Everybody should feel that way.

But first I don't have time because I'm working,second when I have time,I can't afford it. Or time is taken away from me to go work again, who knows where,because I'm not going to be able to choose it.

So I feel more and more disconnected with myself.
I feel angry,I feel sadness.
It feels like I will never be able to finally do what I want with my life,to control my way of living,to enjoy life, well when I still can.

So I just keep living!

Surviving!

And simply following the rules to not lose anything but, what if in the end I just lose myself completly?

Happy

Today I want to talk a little bit about Happy!
She is our little bunny, but in fact she is not a girl...She is BOY! :D
When my beloved brought her home, we thought that she was a boy, but their genitals not evolved after a few months, so,with much lack of knowledge about bunnys we come to the conclusion that she was a girl.
Wrong! 

After some time while playing with her ​​I discovered she possessed boy 's genitals.
So she is a boy, but my beloved refuses to treat her like a boy. And he always tell, my daughter Happy.

My beloved offered me Happy when we were in Holland on my 22nd birthday. 

At that time I was not very well.So she came in the right time.

I was the one who chose her name, to remind me that in our lives there is always a piece of happiness and joy that we must seize. 

She's my piece of fluffy happiness. She's my baby . No matter what gender she has. What matters is that she feels loved and happy.

Happy New Year

It seems like I'm always late to write about things.

But I really want to wish a lovely new year to everybody.

My entry in the new year was spectacular, it was all about laughing and being with the family, a lot better than Christmas Eve.

I really enjoy it.

We didn´t went to party somewhere but it was fun anyway.

And that's it, I hope this new year smile to everyone in the world and that everyone achieve there wishes and dreams.

Cause to dream is very important to go on further.

So never stop dreaming! 

Birthday

So 9th of November it was my birthday :) I'm now 24 years old.
I didn't went anywhere , so yesterday my husband and I went to see houses and went to a place called " Atelier do chá" (Atelier of tea).He chose to drink an orange ice smoothie and ate a ham and cheese toasted sandwich,I chose a toasted bread with nuttela, strawberry jam and my favourite, red fruit jelly and drank the most beautiful and delicious cappuccino I've ever seen and tasted.

Tomorrow we'll see another house and it will be the third one we see.

   This place was so beautiful and cozy that I wanted to live in there :)

Search for new house

So, this is my very 1st post, I wanted to have a blog for quite some time but I put that aside, so let's try for once.

Me and my husband we are searching for a new house to live.

It's almost two years since we came back from the Netherlands, from our little big adventure and we live in his mother's house, it's nice but we need our space to have our life.

So tomorrow we'll search houses.

My biggest wish is that we find some tomorrow, cause it's time move on with our life.

November :) this is my favourite month.

Apart of being my birthday and our anniversary twice eheh it has something that I don't know what it is but makes me love him, maybe the atmosphere I can't really explain, I simply love him.