The definition of happiness is subjective. The way that I aspire to be happy may not be the same of others,because we all have our own path to follow.
In the present day I achieve many things that I wanted and needed to be happy, so I can say that I'm more happy than when I was younger.
Simply because I knew that I wanted to be happy but not how, looking back I was lost, a lot.
I thought that the way I was living was happiness, freedom and didn't want to listen to anybody. In fact I was learning on my own for the first time, and I'm glad that I passed by all the bad things, and to have the opportunity to fail and learn on my own, because I never did that, I always did the right thing, I was the good girl, and starting being an adult by yourself can be harder than we think, or not, I guess it depends on the person.
To me it was a sense of freedom, to do things on my own, in fact, I didn't knew anything about how to adult.
And I was discovering an whole new world around me without any backup.
I had friends trying to help me, and trying to talk to me, but I simply didn't want to listen, because it was my life and I wanted to explore and do things my way.
I didn't knew I could balance two worlds, the responsability and the fun and freedom.
I should had listen to them? Yes! Everything would have turn easier , but I'm the kind of person who likes to do her way first and see what happens, not so much anymore, because I've learned to think before acting.
Anyway, somethings I wish I could change, but all the process made me grow and at least try to not make the same mistakes again.
Life it is a learning process, and the mistakes and the victories are part of that process, that's the way you grow.
Back in those days I didn't knew that balance could be a way of being happy, stability could be a way of being happy.
And I'm happy now, I feel happiness, most of my days I feel joy inside of me, I realized I have now all the things I wished for on my 15s. I have a home, I'm loved and my professional life is going for better. I don't have a lot of money, my job it's not going to pay me a lot, but it's a job that I like for the first time, I can't say it's my dream job but it gets closer to that, and I get this job probably I don't have to search for a job anymore in my life. Stability!
I don't want much in my life, I don't aspire to be the most rich person and have expensive things inside my house just for the sake of it.
Yes, I appreciate good and quality things or food, I would like to have a little more money to spend, and financial freedom to travel more and go on vacations, but sometimes it's better to achieve small goals in life.
For me it's a big victorie to final realize what I want to be in my professional career and achieve my inner balance and stability in life.
It took me 25 years to realize what I really want to be and not feeling lost, I have a purpose to follow, one that it's possible to achieve, for the first time in my life I have loved my job and I never wanted to go back as much as now, it could be tomorrow, I would glad say yes, forever!
I never wanted to stay in the same job for all my life, because I never liked any at that point.
For many happiness may be to become rich, or have a big house or top car, for some happiness have another definition, may not be attached to material things and be found in the small things in life, to live the small things that life has to offer, may be to find balance, and inner peace, to achieve small goals that lead to great things.
Happiness may be to fight fears and step out of our confort zone.
It is up to each of us to define the concept of happiness.
So, just find your way and be happy!