Thursday, May 18, 2017

Chaotic mind 

Sun shines, and sun don't, mind is broken and thoughts run around and around with no rest. Confusion in the brain and focus is starting to escape.
There is no stability right now, anywhere,the roots are starting to pull off the earth and letting go the ground, mind flies away so fast, no one can reach it. I know I am where I'm suppose to be right now but still, it's been a confusing trip.
I wish I could put a string on every thought and tie them down to me.

In a moment or another I just let go the anger inside me, the tiredness, the confusion in form of tears, because words can't express all of this in one way.
Tears are like the rain, both cleanse the environment, although I'm not sad, well sometimes I am, but you now I don't feel deeply sad as I used to, I mostly feel tired and a little stuck. And that is what I don't want to, I must not get stuck anywhere in my journey, I must continue to evolve.
The anger is starting to envolve my being, because my mind is blocking out the good thoughts and there is where I start feeling stuck. That's not a good place to be in.
Life is a beautiful journey, where you learn, you feel, you grow and you evolve and nowadays I constantly forget about it, about what I learned when I cleared out my mind.

Life isn't about the things you own, life isn't about how much money you have, is about moments, feelings, experiences, appreciate what you already have.
But our minds can be tricky, they can make you feel like you need a million things to be happier, or that you not doing enought to be where you need to.
We live in a superficial world right now, where all that matters is appearance, where people don't speak their minds because they don't want to be put aside, they all look the same because if not, they are not beautiful, where they all buy the same clothes and look like clones.

Sometimes I find someone who really inspires me, or thinks like me and I feel like if I could speak to that being and express all of what think, what I feel, and have a conversation in real life it would be a beautiful way of pass time, evolve, grow, but in my life I only have one person to do that, and most of his thoughts aren't as crazy as mine. But aside him, I don't know anyone with an open mind, with crazy thoughts, with interesting theories about life.
So my mind is starting to feel tired, sleepy, foggy. And that scares the shit out of me, because I don't want to come back to that place anymore in my life.
I hope sun starts shining soon, constantly, cause this cloudy days, sunny days and cloudy ones, sometimes even rainy ones, all in the same week aren't no good.
The energy floats and changes really fast, so there is no stability, and I  feel it deeply in my mind.

Be happy, be unique, be beautiful, just be the real you!

No matter how chaotic it is,
wildflowers will still spring up
in the middle of nowhere!
-Sheryl Crow

No comments: