You seem angry all the time!

Being shy was never a problem in my early years of living, when I was a child I never had issue talking to other children or adults, I was quite social actually, I was'nt aware of being diferent. As I got older I came across very negative criticism, and I had phases in which was very introverted, over time my self confidence faded.
Being an adult I'm more aware I'm different, I'm a strange person, the way to be, my thoughts and the more normal I try to act, more stranger I feel.
I'm afraid of being myself, to say something wrong, to do something wrong, I always expect others criticize negatively, so I tend to run of moments that I know I 'm not gonna be confortable, specially if is talking to persons that I admire or want to be friend and know a little more, my brain freezes, and I can do is blush and be quiet.
Instinctively, I seem angry, and who wants to meet an angry person?
But I'm not an angry person, I just need to let myself go a little bit, to open myself, to gain confidence.
I like to listen intelligent people talking, I like to observ, and if you know me you will know that I'm a kind person, I love to smile, and play, and I wish I could be showing more joy.
This is who I am, but I'm not giving up on my learning path. Maybe someday I return to be a more confident person and not so shy.