Your time!

Trying to life one type of life style where other people don't fit it's the hardest thing I've been doing.
After a running week, all I want to do is rest and relax, in a confortable corner of my little house. But instead I keep running, in the middle of noise.
To rest, is so important for your body, relax to your mind, you need to renew your energy, you need time to let go, you need your time.
Out of routine, make what makes you happy, relaxed and do it alone if you must, because sometimes people around you don't understand what you trying to make, they live their lifes running, yelling, and that can affect your inner self when relaxed.
Focus on you. You are important, you deserve your inner peace, your time to rest, to live your life with happiness.

You seem angry all the time!

Being shy was never a problem in my early years of living, when I was a child I never had issue talking to other children or adults, I was quite social actually, I was'nt aware of being diferent. As I got older I came across very negative criticism, and I had phases in which was very introverted, over time my self confidence faded.
Being an adult I'm more aware I'm different, I'm a strange person, the way to be, my thoughts and the more normal I try to act, more stranger I feel.
I'm afraid of being myself, to say something wrong, to do something wrong, I always expect others criticize negatively, so I tend to run of moments that I know I 'm not gonna be confortable, specially if is talking to persons that I admire or want to be friend and know a little more, my brain freezes, and I can do is blush and be quiet.
Instinctively, I seem angry, and who wants to meet an angry person?
But I'm not an angry person, I just need to let myself go a little bit, to open myself, to gain confidence.
I like to listen intelligent people talking, I like to observ, and if you know me you will know that I'm a kind person, I love to smile, and play, and I wish I could be showing more joy.
This is who I am, but I'm not giving up on my learning path. Maybe someday I return to be a more confident person and not so shy.

Mind? Why don't you shut up?!

My mind is blocked, no thoughts came out, I am here, maybe not.
In another time, in another way.
I feel the rain in my brains, I feel the storm in the pain.
I feel the wind in my heart, struggling.
This must be a dream, this life isn't real,
it's real what I feel?
The knot in my throat, I can´t breath.
The water in my eyes, I can't see.
Where are you?! Nowhere!
My strenght, where are you?
The dreams in my sleep, I can't rest.
I can't see myself, there is no reflection in the mirror of me, it's not me.
My legs are blocked, I can't walk.
I don't want to go anywhere, see anybody. I can't dress up today, I don't want to.
Mind? Why don't you shut up?! 
Still exists this day and other to feel like this.
Let it flow, learn to live this days too, life isn't perfect, allow yourself to feel down!
And then, get up and start again. Another day, another you.