Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Respect and Boundaries

Every time I want to express myself, by writing in here or talking to people, I get super nervous.
But I have to because other way I just fill my mind with thoughts and I feel like a bomb-clock.
Today I want to talk about respect and personal space.
Why do people tend to be meddlesome, and even if they don't know you well. 
Example: if they see you talking to someone, and you act in a certain way, or you allowed the person you're talking with act in a certain way with you, people automatically assume they can do the same thing! They can ask you personal things, make jokes, or trying to interact with you in the same way that the other person was doing.
NO! You can't! Cause you don't know me! And I'm not allowing YOU to know me, because something in you didn't inspire truth or confidence about you! Because I don't know you enough to talk about me and I don't trust you enough to make jokes or play with you. 
I'm protecting myself from you, because I don't know if you are a truthful person and you not gonna tell another person what I told you. I need my time to observe you and decide if I want to be your "friend", plus I suffer from anxiety, so it's not easy for me to talk to you person, and I don't know how to interact with you if you tell me a stupid joke, because more likely I'm not gonna find it funny, and I'm gonna look to you and you gonna put me a label of stupid or dumb.
So I prefer to know well a person before I interact in that way.

If I feel that I can trust, I will talk, I will allow a person to know me better, I will talk in a "normal" way, but I still don't do jokes, unless I'm super comfortable in my skin in that moment, because in the next minute I can get super nervous or shy and I close in myself again. So just because you work with me like a month or two don't think you know me, because we didn't interact enough for that, don't think you can treat me in a certain way or force a relationship with me.

Cause that's not gonna happen if you continue to act like that.

I can get personality from a person right away, and later you can surprise me but more and less I don't get wrong about a person.

If you come to me in the first day you interact with me just to talk about yourself and you just want brag about what you do and what you are, never shut and not even let me speak a complete sentence, I get angry, upset and the next time you try to talk to me, or I hear you and ignore what you saying completely or I avoid approaching you.
I don't get it, if you approach someone that you don't know and you even let the person interact with you, what's the fucking point?!
I hate when people do that. I like to talk and I like to interact with you if you're talking to me. That's why we call that a conversation, right?!
And you do all this with me, like one time or two and then what you do?
You pass all the boundaries of my personal space that I didn't gave YOU permission to cross.
Like stupid jokes or physical contact and fake affection. I don't react very well to physical contact by stranger persons,if it's a children for me it's ok, I work with children in the moment so... I like children, I don't mind, but a stranger adult nhé! I can't stand, and sometimes when I know the person a little bit more even in that time I feel reluctant to express physical affection. I'll allow it if I feel you as a good person right away, but I allow it with a little bit of fear too. In this theme I compare myself with those little children who don't trust in adults. Or a animal that was hurt by humans and you have to conquer his affection.
So,you come to hug me, and have stupid plays with me, you don't know me, you don't have my permission to do it, because I know you don't even care about me and most important, you don't RESPECT me!

I don't have patience for people like this, but they sure make me mad.

People who are fake, talk trash about you and judge you beyond your back and in the front try to seem good people
I can't stand! I don't fall in that trap again, now days i'm very aware of people like this.

 So, I hope this made sense.

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